


Operation: Angler Fish

by displacerghost, setepenre_set



Category: Megamind - Fandom
Genre: Don’t copy to another site, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-13
Updated: 2019-02-27
Packaged: 2019-10-27 08:50:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17763653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/displacerghost/pseuds/displacerghost, https://archiveofourown.org/users/setepenre_set/pseuds/setepenre_set
Summary: Minion encourages Megamind to give their damsel in distress an unusual present for her birthday.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [displacerghost](https://archiveofourown.org/users/displacerghost/gifts).



“Yes, Minion, but what else would she want from us?”

Minion resists the urge to throw both his fins and the robotic suit’s arms up in exasperated frustration. The knack Sir has for  _completely missing the point_  is really  _unparalleled_.

“Sir,” Minion says, “We can’t just not kidnap Miss Ritchi; it’s tradition!”

“You’re the one who suggested that we give her a present,” Megamind says, crossing his arms defensively. “What better present than to leave her alone?”

Minion sighs, feeling a headache start behind his left eye.

“What if we made it—voluntary?” he suggests.

“The  _kidnapping?_ ” Megamind says, sounding incredulous.

“Yes, why not?”

“Voluntary,” Megamind says scathingly, “Why would Roxanne ever volunteer to spend time with us? That’s sort of the whole point behind kidnapping, Minion. She’s a hostage against her will!”

“I think she might surprise you, Sir,” Minion says. “She likes us.”

“You, Minion,” Megamind says. “She likes  _you_. Of course she does, everyone likes you! It’s your winning personality; your charm. The catch is, you come with me. We’re a package deal, and no one wants the rest of the package!”

Megamind makes a sweeping gesture with both arms, indicating himself, and Minion’s disapproval must show in his expression, because Megamind rolls his eyes.

“Oh, don’t look at me like that,” he says. “You know it’s true. I’m not being down on myself; I’m just stating the facts! Fact: you’re cute. I’m evil. And since you’re stuck with me, well—we just—have to work around the drawback, that’s all.”

Minion grits his teeth and follows as Megamind—no doubt reading Minion’s deepening disapproval in his face and sensing the probability of an impending lecture about not referring to himself as a drawback—turns on his heel and makes for the lab at a brisk pace

Megamind is hindered by the way that he’s trying to flee with dignity, though, and Minion keeps pace with him easily.

“But,” he says, pushing aside the lecture for now and focusing on the problem at hand, “Sir—she doesn’t have any plans at all. Metro Man’s mom sent her a card and…that’s it, Sir.”

Megamind does not answer, busying himself with shrugging into his labcoat and pulling on a battered pair of work boots.

“He’s not taking her out to dinner or anything,” Minion says.

“Wayne’s a shitty boyfriend,” Megamind says, then grimaces as he tugs on the last boot. “Lucky for him he’s all muscle and beef, elsewise no one would date him at all.”

“Her family hasn’t called her, either,” Minion says, plowing on, determined. “No one’s even emailed her. She’s all by herself, Sir.”

Megamind pauses in the midst of picking up a wrench.

“…you think she’d be,” he hesitates, “—sad—then. If we didn’t kidnap her.”

“Yes, Sir,” Minion says, closing his eyes and sending up a brief heartfelt thank you to the universe that Megamind finally seemed to be getting it.

“She’d probably—think we forgot?” Megamind says, tilting his head, his eyebrows drawing together.

“Yes,” Minion says, and then pauses, watching Megamind’s face.

(careful—have to play this carefully. Birthdays and Miss Ritchi both being such sensitive subjects.)

“We could make it voluntary, Sir,” he says, the coaxing in his voice so gentle that it probably doesn’t even register consciously with Megamind. “Just—ask her. Maybe? And if she says no, then she says no. What harm could it do?”

Minion flutters his fins in a dismissive gesture, glossing over the posibility that would, in reality, be an utter disaster. Megamind is silent for a moment, poised with the wrench in his hand. Minion counts to three and then goes in for the kill.

“You know what it’s like,” Minion says, “being alone like that on your birthday.”

Megamind is silent for a long moment, and then he puts the wrench down on the work table, dropping his eyes to it and pushing at the handle of it until it lines up parallel with the edge of the table.

“But,” he says, voice uncertain, still not raising his eyes, and Minion knows he  _has him_ now, “but what would we  _do_  with her?”

“We could watch a movie,” Minion suggests, trying not to let the triumph and enthusiasm he feels bubble up into his voice. “Or just play a board game? I could make something really special for dinner and we could just—relax, together?”

Megamind looks up at that, eyebrows raised.

“You want her in the Lair?” he says, “I think not. The last thing we need is the nosy reporter snooping through our secrets!”

“Oh, but—”

Minion can tell the moment that it finally clicks for Megamind, and can scarcely stop himself from beaming. Megamind sighs and hides his face with one hand.

“Yes,” he says, sounding exasperated and resigned at the same time. “That would be the perfect gift, wouldn’t it? What else has Roxanne always wanted, but to get a peek behind the curtain?”

“If she promised not to tell—”

Megamind shoots him a baleful glare through the fingers of the hand that’s still covering his face.

“She’s a reporter, Minion,” he says. “That’s what they do. Blab secrets to the whole world.”

“But she’s Miss Ritchi, Sir,” Minion says. “You know if she promised, she’d keep her word.”

Megamind is silent for a moment, and then—

“Yes,” he said softly, thoughtfully, lowering his hand. “She would, wouldn’t she? Hmm…”

He trails off, then suddenly snaps his fingers, spine going straight and green eyes going bright.

“Oh, I know what we’re going to do, Minion,” he says, edges of his mouth beginning to curl in a smirk.

He steeples his fingers and gives a low, evil laugh, and Minion doesn’t know if he should be excited or concerned.

“Yes,” Megamind says, “yes, I know exactly what to do for Miss Ritchi.”

* * *

 

“I’m—I’m sorry—what?” Roxanne says, voice rising with incredulity.

She eyes Megamind warily from the far side of the kitchen counter, but he doesn’t laugh and say he’s joking, doesn’t lunge for her suddenly. He just—sits there, perched on the edge of her table, poised and still and. It’s.

Well, it’s honestly unnerving, much more so than anything he’s ever done before.

He smiles at her, then, all confidence and wicked delight and Roxanne feels her face go hot and realizes that she’s clutching the collar of her bathrobe.

“Evil Queen,” he says again, “for a day. No strings attached, no pressure, no obligation. Well—one string.”

“—ah?” Roxanne manages to say.

“A promise,” he says, “not to reveal any—secrets—which you might uncover today. And in return, Minion and I will agree to keep quiet about letting you try on the crown.”

His smile widens, sharpens, and Roxanne swallows hard.

“What do you say, Miss Ritchi?” he says, voice low and silky. “Care to have a little taste of evil?”

Roxanne’s eyes go wide.

“Wh—uh—why?” she says, feeling her blush sweeping down from her face over her neck.

“Why should you accept?” he asks, still in that soft, seductive voice. “Because it’s your birthday. And I think you’ll enjoy it.”

“No—I mean,” Roxanne makes a valiant effort to pull herself together. “Why—why are you offering?”

What on earth is he trying to accomplish here; what’s the angle he’s trying to play; there has to be one, she knows there does, and she’d be able to figure it out if he would just stop  _smoldering_  ather like that—

Megamind shrugs, a ripple of movement in the silk of his cape and does not look away from her.

“Because it’s your birthday,” he says. “And I think you’ll enjoy it.”

He slides off the edge of the table then, graceful and fluid, and stalks towards her, and Roxanne can barely stop herself from taking a step back. Megamind doesn’t try to come around the counter and trap her, though, the way she’s half hoping he’s going to do—at least then she could run and he could chase her, and that would be familiar, would be safe. Instead, he stops on the other side of the counter and leans his forearms on it, bending forward, still smiling.

“I think,” he says, “that you won’t be satisfied with just a taste. I think you’ll want more.”

Roxanne feels a sudden wave of lightheadedness and heat and—well, she’s not going to categorize what the third thing is, but it’s something sharp and fierce, something with claws in it.

(is he—is he actually—)

((is he coming on to her?))

“I—um,” she says, “what—is this going to entail. Exactly?”

(Megamind’s eyes flash, sees his lips curl even more wickedly, and Roxanne realizes with a flip of her stomach and another rush of heat to her cheeks that she’s phrased this question as if she’s already accepted the offer and when did Megamind get so good at throwing her off her game; when did he figure out how to push her buttons so easily, so—)

“I’m going to show you the Lair,” he says. “And how I run the underworld—if this were a more permanent arrangement, I could take you around the city and show you in person. But there’s no guarantee someone won’t talk if you’re seen with me like that, and fair is fair. I won’t risk your reputation. And…”

Megamind’s smile goes softer, and his voice goes soft again as well, inviting, promising.

“I’ll answer any questions you ask,” he adds.

“—I’ll go get dressed,” Roxanne says, too quickly for her to pretend indifference and Megamind  _smiles_  at her again, a wicked, pleased-with-himself smirk with that  _edge_  of—of—

—and Roxanne—

Roxanne narrows her eyes in sudden understanding because this, this is what the game today is, isn’t it? this— _flirtation_ ; he’s trying to  _fluster her._

Well.

Two can play at that game, and Roxanne is damn well not going to let Megamind gain the upper hand here; he’ll be smug about it forever.

She lets her hand fall from her robe’s collar, oh-so-casually managing to brush the material so that it parts a little bit more, then bends forward, leaning on the counter too.

Megamind’s eyes drop down to the now scandalously low neckline of her robe before jerking back up to hers, and Roxanne sees a slight tinge of lavender-pink come into his cheeks and oh,  _he has no idea what he’s in for._

“What would you like me to wear for you, Megamind?” she asks sweetly.

“It—um—it doesn’t matter,” he says, stumbling over his words for the first time since he unexpectedly appeared in her kitchen. “Minion has—uh—he has outfits? For you to choose from?”

“Mmm,” Roxanne says, “so you don’t have any special requests? Anything in particular you’d like to see me in?”

“Um,” Megamind says, and then gulps, actually gulps, visibly, audibly, and yes, oh  _yes_ , Roxanne is going to  _enjoy this._

* * *

 

“Where did all these come from?” Miss Ritchi says, staring at the expanse of Minion’s sewing room, and Minion anticipated that she would ask this question, already has his answer ready.

“Well, I design and create all of Sir’s outfits, but there really isn’t quite enough scope to that, you know?” he says, without a single ripple in his calm, cheerful demeanor. “Sometimes I need to do something a little more stimulating. And your figure dresses well, Miss Ritchi; it’s going to be a pleasure to finally do it for real!”

“Oh,” Miss Ritchi says, looking taken aback, utterly caught off guard by the compliment. “Um. Thank you? I mean—my body’s kind of weirdly shaped, I know, and I don’t exactly…have the best sense of fashion…”

She laughs, self-conscious and uncomfortable and Minion feels a sharp little pang at how lost she looks, how very obviously minion-less she is and

oh.

oh dear.

So that’s why—all those times he showed up at her apartment to kidnap her and he’s had to remind her that she  _wore that dress for the last kidnapping, Miss Ritchi and you’re ah—wearing two different colors of socks, and lets be sure to remember this time that you need to put on shoes before we go and—_

“Oh, no, Ma’am,” he says, moving sideways in his glass dome in a motion he knows bipeds equate with him shaking his head. “No, there’s no problem with your figure. Or your fashion sense. The only thing you’re lacking is confidence!”

Miss Ritchi makes a face that’s almost identical to the one Megamind made the first time that Minion suggested that he wear a cape.

“If you say so,” she says, sounding unconvinced.

“Right!” Minion says, and quickly rolls on with the conversation, hoping to head off any possibility of her launching into something like the ten minute monologue of self-critique Megamind went into, post cape-suggestion. “So what kind of an effect are you aiming for, Ma’am?”

She looks over at him, then, sharply, color staining her cheeks.

“Um,” she says. “I—I don’t know…”

And Minion can hear in her voice that she’s lying about not knowing what she wants, that she’s just holding herself back from telling him.

“All right,” he says, as if he has no idea that she’s lying about not knowing what she wants, no idea that she’s just holding herself back from telling him for some reason. “Well—you’re going to be moving around quite a bit, so nothing too heavy—” He works quickly, efficently, moving clothes on the racks as he talks. “And I don’t think you want anything too much like your ordinary clothes, so we’ll skip looking at the casual and professional pieces—I don’t think this is an occasion that calls for a formal gown, so we’ll set those aside…”

“Oh, but—” Miss Ritchi cuts herself off.

Minion glances over at her—she’s standing next to one of the formal gowns he moved out of the way, hands held behind her back, like a child afraid of getting caught reaching for something they weren’t allowed to have. Under his inquiring gaze, her face flushes again and she glances guiltily at the dress nearest to her, one of the formal gowns, a deep blue, silky thing.

“This one?” Minion asks.

“Oh,” Miss Ritchi gives a little laugh. “I mean—it’s lovely but—it’s too formal. Right?”

Minion smiles at her, toothy reassurance. He’d been hoping she’d pick the Blue Viper.

“Oh, I think we can make this one work, Ma’am,” he says.

* * *

 

It only takes MInion about ten minutes, but when he’s done altering the gown Roxanne liked so much, it’s—well, it’s not exactly like a dress, and definitely not anything like anything Roxanne has ever worn before.

He has her put on a layer of black, first: a sleeveless, tight black shirt and a pair of black pants which cling tightly to her body. Then the not-exactly-a-dress. It fastens around her neck with a wide metal collar of silver filgree, and the black undershirt means that the neckline of the blue silk gown which plunges so deeply merely teases, and reveals nothing.

More blue silk wraps around her waist. When she first steps into the gown, it the folds of the drapery fasten together with a silver filgree clip halfway up her left thigh, leaving a modest slit up the side of the skirt. Minion moves the clip up, so that the gown fastens above her left hip, and the fabric falls away in a way reminescent of a long asymetrical coat, rather than a formal gown’s skirt.

Roxanne stares at herself in the mirror. It’s—she looks—

“Here you are, Ma’am,” Minion says cheerfully, handing her a pair of black leather boots with a low heel and a pair of black leather gloves.

Roxanne turns gratefully away from her reflection to pull them on.

The boots look like Megamind’s—she has a suspicion that they actually are his—but the gloves are different from the gloves he wears. Instead of being tight to the skin halfway up her upper arms, they end in a sharp, flared point just below her elbows.

The entire ensemble is…almost disturbingly comfortable, and when Roxanne gathers her courage to face her reflection again, what she sees is disturbing as well.

She looks—well, the outfit looks like it was made for her, and she looks—

A knock at the door.

“Are you finished?” Megamind’s voice calls, and Roxanne’s heart does a kind of sideways jump.

Instead of allowing herself to dither the way she wants to, though, she draws herself up, spine straight, head up, chin tilted at an angle of challenge.

She has a game to win, after all.

“Come in, Megamind,” she says, not an invitation but a command.

There is a pause of several seconds, which Roxanne uses to try to calm her racing heart.

And then the door handle turns.

Roxanne watches in the mirror as Megamind steps into the room, watches his face as he sees her for the first time and—

“—evil gods,” he says softly. “Look at you.”

—and the tone of his voice and the expression on his face has her heart doing a jittery flip that makes the sideways jump from earlier feel like nothing, but she lifts her chin just a little bit more, schooling her expression into calm, regal confidence.

He crosses the room to stand behind her, and Roxanne realizes she’s staring, realizes that she’s just about to lose her cool and her advantage here, so tears her gaze away from his reflection in the mirror to look at her own.

And she looks—she looks—

“I have something for you,” Megamind says, and her eyes go back to his reflection in the mirror.

He’s holding a box, she sees now, and she watches him open it, watches him take out—

“Oh,” Roxanne says, more a gasp than a word, wonder and soft shock, which is not at all the tone she’s trying to set here, but she’s pretty sure she’s entitled to a bit of a moment here because—

“Didn’t I tell you that you’d be trying on the crown?” Megamind asks, and lifts it up for her to see.

“—I thought you were speaking metaphorically,” Roxanne says helplessly.

(neither of them notice when Minion slips out of the room and quietly closes the door.)

Megamind settles the crown on her head, a beautiful, dangerous looking thing of steel and spikes.

“Look,” he says, and Roxanne does, again tearing her eyes away from him to look at her own reflection.

And—

And Roxanne—

She looks—

(commanding. powerful. confident.)

((right))

“—I look bad,” she blurts out without thinking, and Megamind laughs.

Her eyes jerk guiltily to his in the mirror, but she sees by his expression that he knows exactly what she meant.

“Yes,” he says. “Terrifyingly so.”

Roxanne gives a breathless laugh, and the supervillain in the mirror laughs, too.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...to be continued.
> 
> It’s my birthday today! (...well, technically yesterday, since it’s after midnight now) And today (/technically yesterday) is also the first day of my hobbit birthday week, which is going to last through the 19th, and during which I’m going to be publishing a chapter of fic a day!
> 
> I’m very excited to share this with you all, and I hope you enjoyed the first chapter of Operation: Angler Fish!
> 
> I’m really enjoying the writing of this fic in particular; displacerghost actually came up with the idea for it, and started the first bit of it, and then asked if I’d like to finish it. Thank you, my love. 💜💙💜


	2. Chapter 2

“And—ah—here is the fabrication section of the lab,” Megamind says, “which is—where the big metal parts for the large machines are made. I’ve got basic molds for standard parts, of course, things that can be used easily in multiple machines, but the more complex pieces I design separately and we use wire and water EDM—that’s, um, Electrical Discharge Machining which—it’s—it’s very good for complex shapes and easier to preserve detail—”

For approximately the thirty-seventh time, he attempts to force himself to stop babbling. This attempt, like the thirty-six attempts before it, is an utter failure.

“—that’s the main EDM there, and you can see there’s another smaller one beside that wall there,” he says despairingly, “that’s the brainbot EDM; that’s where their parts are made. Most of them use a standard set of molds, but spikes and other customized parts like specifically shaped teeth can be designed and made as well, and of course there’s a great deal of variation in, for example, the number of limbs the brainbots can choose to have—”

Roxanne makes an interested humming sound, trailing gloved fingertips over the surface of the larger machine, then puts both hands on the edge of it and bends forward, and the movement causes the blue silk fabric of her skirt to fall forward, framing the shape of her—well—

Megamind jerks his gaze up guiltily and, at long last, finally ceases to babble, mostly because he’s now focusing very intently on not swallowing his own tongue.

Roxanne makes that sound again and straightens up, turning to face him. She’s—there’s a curve to her mouth, not exactly like a smile, but the maddening hint of one and he has no idea what she’s smiling about and—

She leans back casually against the machine, practically lounges there, and Megamind has no idea where he lost control of this whole Make-Miss-Ritchi-Evil-Queen-for-a-Day plan, but he very definitely _has_.

Another shoal of brainbots flies by, led again by their queen, Zero, all of them strangely quiet as they make their way past Megamind and Roxanne, all of them turning their eyestalks around as they go, craning their eyepieces over their braincases like interested drivers going by the scene of a disaster, which is exactly what this idea is shaping up to be. Maybe the bots can sense that; maybe that’s why they’ve been flying past in quiet little groups since he started Roxanne’s tour, although you’d think they would _help him in that case._

Fake an emergency! Rile up the crocodiles! Start a fire somewhere! Anything!

In absence of a rescue from either Zero or Minion, who has been conspicuously absent since the beginning of this whole debacle even though it was _his idea originally, the duplicitous fish._

“Do you have any questions?” Megamind asks desperately.

“Where are your books?” Roxanne asks, as if this isn’t a complete conversational hard right turn.

Megamind seizes on the question gratefully though—if he can just keep this tour moving, he won’t have to deal with her staring at him like—like—like that.

“Ah!” he says, “Well—I do, of course have copies of all of the records, financial and otherwise, of all the organizations that fall under my authority as Overlord, both physical copies and electronic copies. Which—ah—which collection would you like to see?”

Roxanne’s brows draw together even as she smiles a little bit wider, a look of bemused amusement.

“Oh, I’d be interested in seeing them both,” she says. “But I meant where do you keep your books, Megamind—books you read for _pleasure_.”

She lingers over the last word, drawing it out, making it into something almost indecently sensual, and Megamind feels heat flood his face.

“Um—I—why?” he asks.

Why does she want to know; why does she keep asking these kinds of questions; he was prepared for her to ask reporter questions, science questions, not—not—personal ones.

“Curiosity,” she says. “So where do you keep them?”

“…in my bedroom,” Megamind says, and at this rate his face is never going to be a normal shade of blue again, is going to stay fuchsia forever, a permanent blush of everlasting embarrassment.

He wonders, somewhat hysterically, if he could pass it off as some kind of sunburn, or perhaps a lab accident gone tragically wrong.

Roxanne makes a disappointed sound.

“That’s too bad,” she says. “You can tell a lot about a person, based on what their bookshelf looks like.”

Megamind, thinking of the bookshelf in his room, the one full of romance novels, makes a noise which sounds something like ‘ulp’.

Roxanne straightens up from the machine and saunters over to him, hips swaying, making the blue silk of her split skirt ripple like water.

“That’s all right, though,” she says, and slips her arm into his. “Bedroom tours are probably too—intimate—” again she draws the word out sensually, “—for a first visit. Although technically speaking, I have been here plenty of times before.”

She begins walking, moving through the Lair as confidently as if she’s the one who lives there, and Megamind helplessly allows himself to be pulled along with her, powerless and swept away by the force of her.

“I don’t think it counts as a social visit if one of you is tied up,” Megamind says.

Roxanne gives him a sidelong glance, dark lashes and curving mouth and sweetly vindictive amusement in her glittering blue eyes.

“You’ve lived a very sheltered life for a supervillain,” she says. “Haven’t you?”

Megamind makes a strangled noise and Roxanne’s smile goes wider, like that of a very self-satisfied cat.

“Don’t worry,” she says. “I think it’s sweet.”

“Oh look at this door over here!” Megamind says loudly. “Doesn’t this way look exciting?”

“It says ‘exit’, Megamind,” Roxanne says, voice rich with amusement.

“Which stands for exciting! In this circumstance!” Megamind says. “It’s the alligator pit; why don’t we go look at the alligators wouldn’t that be great—”

“Ooh,” Roxanne says, and he follows her gaze to see her looking at—

The curtain which closes off the section of the Lair where he constructs his idea clouds and evil plans.

Well. It _should_ close it off; Megamind _remembers_ having closed it off before setting out to invite Roxanne to the Lair. It was pulled completely shut when he left, but now it’s open—just slightly, just a crack, the red material at the opening swaying gently, as if from the breeze created by a passing brainbot.

There’s a light on in the idea cloud section—that shouldn’t be on either; what have the brainbots been up to? He wanted them to create a distraction but this is not what he meant at all.

Golden light shines invitingly through the opening, filtering through the hanging scraps of paper, twisting slowly in the air, staining the light different colors, making it flicker and change.

“What is that?” Roxanne asks, moving towards the curtain.

“That’s—I mean—it’s not—you probably wouldn’t be—”

She turns her head and gives him a look, eyebrow arched, chin tilted. The light catches on the spikes of the crown she’s wearing and why did he think it would be a good idea to put her in a crown?

Oh yes that’s right because he is a fool, brought low by his own hubris, that’s why.

“Megamind,” she says. “You promised to answer any question I asked.”

“…it’s the idea cloud for the next evil plot,” he says, too overcome to even try to argue.

“Really,” Roxanne says, eyes sharpening with even more interest. “Let’s go look at that, then.”

“But—”

Roxanne gives him another of those looks, and Megamind subsides.

“Oh, don’t look so miserable,” she says as they make their way through the curtain. “Keep an open mind, Megamind; you might even enjoy this.”

“Oh. What fun,” Megamind says.

* * *

“An anti gravity beam?” Roxanne says, looking at the plans he brought out when she asked him to explain.

“Yes, exactly!” Megamind says, gesturing excitedly. “Isn’t it brilliant?”

It really is; she’s actually very impressed; she’s never gotten to see Megamind’s machines and plans being created; she’s usually just here for the falling apart phase of everything. But—

“I mean, yeah, the anti gravity beam technology itself is genius,” Roxanne says, “but—why?”

“Why—what—what do you mean, why?” Megamind says, gesturing at the idea cloud. “To defeat Metro Man, of course—”

“And rule the city as Overlord, Metrocity will be mine at last Miss Ritchi evil laughter evil laughter, yes, yes, I know the spiel,” Roxanne says, waving a dismissive hand and ignoring Megamind’s indignant sputtering at her imitation of him. “But why an anti gravity beam?”

“I—I’m not sure what you’re asking,” Megamind says.

“It’s pointless,” Roxanne says. “Why would you do this; it’s never going to work!”

She sees an expression of hurt flash in Megamind’s eyes, and then his mouth goes flat, his eyebrows drawing down.

“Yes, yes, your plans never work, Megamind; give it up,” he says, “evil fails, good prevails; I know the schpiel as well, Miss Ritchi—”

“That’s not what I—”

“—should have know it would be like this; should have known—”

“I mean,” Roxanne says, “some of his powers work off of anti gravity, Megamind; why don’t you reverse the polarity of the neutron flow or—whatever it is, I don’t know—and turn it into a targeted gravity beam instead?”

Megamind halts in midsentence, mouth still slightly open, eyes suddenly very wide.

“…his powers do what, now?” he says.

“Work off of antigravity,” Roxanne says. “Obviously?”

“Obviously?” Megamind says, voice rising with incredulity. “What do you mean, obviously?”

“Obviously!” Roxanne says, gesturing again, both hands this time. “Come on! Flight? Have you seen Wayne? He’s huge! And not in any way aerodynamic! How the hell else is he going to get off the ground; I mean really.”

“You—surely he didn’t just tell you this!” Megamind says. “Even if you are his girlfriend, that would be—”

“—even if I was his girlfriend, that would be incredibly stupid,” Roxanne says. “Which Wayne is. Just—not in this particular circumstance.”

“You just—you just came up with this,” Megamind says, and then blinks. “Wait. Was his girlfriend? Was as in—past tense?”  
“Was as in entirely hypothetical, never going to actually happen because he is approximately as interesting and attractive as a lampshade,” Roxanne says. “And—well, yeah, I just came up with it. You really didn’t—I mean, it seems really obvious to me, and maybe I’m wrong, but it’s got to at least be a hypothesis worth testing, right?”

Megamind takes a soft, sharp breath.

“It,” he says, “was not obvious, Roxanne. You just happen to be extremely intelligent and perceptive.”

Roxanne’s breath catches at the compliment, at the ease with which he gives it, at the fact that he doesn’t seem to know he’s said something astonishing.

“And this,” he says, “this is—”

He places the tips of his fingers together, steepling his hands, and then he smiles at her, slow and dangerous and very, very sharp.

“Oh,” he says, voice dark and promising. “Oh, my dear, clever Miss Ritchi—this is a hypothesis very worth testing indeed.”

Roxanne isn’t sure if she actually says oh, or if her lips merely part, soundless with wonder because—

(my dear, clever Miss Ritchi)

—because he’s said that before, called her that before, but she never realized before that he means it.

“Yes,” Megamind says, fingers still steepled together, supervillain smile curling his lips, “yes, we will certainly be testing the anti-anti-gravity beam. It will be—”

“—anti-anti-gravity beam?” Roxanne cuts in, unable to help herself, in spite of the way her heart feels like it might never learn to beat normally again.

“—an evil plot to—” Megamind, who had begun to pace, as he usually does during evil monologues, stops in his tracks and mid-sentence, frowning at her. “Yes, of course, Miss Ritchi,” he says, “the anti-anti-gravity—”

Roxanne gives him a flat look.

“It’s a gravity beam, Megamind.”

“Anti-anti—”

“Gravity beam.”

“But—”

“Gravity. Beam.”

“Oh, potato, tomato, potato, tomato,” Megamind says, waving a dismissive hand as if he’s trying to chase off a particularly annoying gnat.

Roxanne gives a snort of laughter and he grins at her, bright and triumphant and happy, so very happy.

“We should record it, too,” she says. “So even if it doesn’t work we’ll be able to review the footage and see if we can work out what went wrong from there.”

Megamind’s expression changes from innocent joy to dark delight in an instant, and Roxanne—

Roxanne suddenly feels as if the air between them is filled with electricity, lightning ready to strike at any moment.

“What an excellent idea, Miss Ritchi,” Megamind says, and Roxanne suppresses a shiver of something that she can’t even come close to pretending is fear. “Yes, we should record it so we can review it later.”

He laughs, low and beautifully wicked, and then—

“Really?” he says, in a tone that hovers between uncertainty and laughter. “A lampshade?”

“A _beige_ lampshade,” Roxanne says, and Megamind’s evil laughter rings through the Lair.

(After a few moments, it’s joined by hers.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...to be continued.
> 
> Day two of my birthday week celebration! I hope you all enjoyed the chapter!
> 
> (thank you to my dear displacerghost for beta reading this, and for originally giving me the story to finish as a present.)


	3. Chapter 3

"Really? _Now?_ "

Roxanne, tied extremely loosely in her customary kidnapping chair, sees, in the viewscreen over Megamind's shoulder, Metro Man is still sitting on his white couch, a plate of nachos balanced on his lap.

"Come on, man," he says, "the game's on!"

"Well, I'm terribly sorry to interrupt your busy day of couch-potato-ing, Metro Man," Megamind says, "but evil does not follow a sportsball shed-u-al."

"—really?" Roxanne can't help but interject. "Funny, how there's never an evil plot while there's a baseball game on. What a coincidence that the evil schedule always happens to be clear when the Metro City Wolverines are playing."

Megamind glances over his shoulder at her, barely suppressing the smile she can see threatening at the corners of his mouth.

"I have no idea what you mean, Miss Ritchi," he says.

"Can't it wait? Wayne says. "I mean—"

"Hey!" Roxanne says, a little sharply, "I could be in mortal danger, here!"

"Dire peril!" Megamind adds.

"Desperate straits!"

"Terrible jeopardy!"

"My very life at risk!"

"Ugh, come on," he says, "why do we have to go through this same silly charade again?"

Megamind's spine straightens.

"Silly charade?" he says, voice stiff, and Roxanne can tell by the set of his shoulders that he's genuinely offended.

Wayne, though, either doesn't notice or maybe doesn't care. He picks up a chip and takes a bite.

"Yeah," he says, mouth full, gesturing with the half-eaten chip. "Roxy's been kidnapped, I'm gonna stop you; we've been playing through this our entire lives. Why do you keep trying? Face it, little buddy." He pops the rest of the chip into his mouth. "I'm invulnerable. You're never gonna beat me."

Megamind's hands ball into fists at his sides. In the viewscreen, Metro Man eats another nacho with a bored, complacent air.

"You know," Megamind says, "what your problem is, Metro Man?"

"Besides you?"

"You think that you're  _above_  everyone else," Megamind says, "that the rest of the world is  _beneath_  you. You spend all of your time up on cloud nine, looking down on the rest of us. Well, you are about to be brought down to earth, Metro Man. Brought down by your one true weakness...Roxanne Ritchi!"

Megamind's eyes flick over to meet hers as he says her name, a wicked smile playing around the edges of his mouth and Roxanne takes a sharp breath.

( _Your one true weakness, Roxanne Ritchi_ , and it sounds so much like Megamind's standard evil monologue, but it's  _not_ —Megamind isn't threatening  _her_ , isn't even really playing at threatening  _her_.

He's threatening Metro Man  _with her._

Not a pawn, not a damsel in distress—a weapon, a  _partner.)_

Wayne sighs a deeply put-upon sigh.

"Okay," he says, "okay okay okay—let's get this over with."

The air around him blurs as he starts up his superspeed, and then he disappears from the viewscreen. Megamind presses a button, making the screen go dark, and then he whirls around, cape billowing, eyes shining with anticipation.

"We are warmed up and ready to go, Sir!" Minion calls, and Megamind rubs his hands together in glee.

"Places!" he cries, for no apparent reason, since they're all already in their places, her in her kidnapping chair, Minion at the console in the corner, him at the viewscreen. "Places; places; places!"

"Bowg!"

"Bowg bowg bowg!"

"Bowg bowg!"

The brainbots seem to find Megamind's excitement contagious; Roxanne watches as Megamind runs around in a little circle, brainbot cloud spinning around him, before he ends up in exactly the same position as he started.

And—

—and—

—god, he's so—so—

And maybe she should—maybe she should laugh, or at least want to laugh, but something that is definitely not laughter catches in her throat, beneath her sternum and what she wants, what she really, truly wants is—

Megamind glances over and meets her gaze, and his grin fades into a look of puzzled bemusement. He tilts his head, a question implied in the gesture, and Roxanne opens her mouth to say—to say—

She's not sure what she intends to say, but it definitely starts with  _Megamind_ , and there's a  _please_  in there somewhere, and whatever it is has her heart fluttering in her chest, a trapped bird in her ribcage and Megamind's brows draw together in something that looks like concern, and he takes a step towards her and—

Metro Man bursts through the roof.

He comes through just where they expected, landing in the one _conveniently clear spot_  which  _just so happens_  to have a  _spotlight_  on it which glints off of his hair and shiny white teeth.

He straightens up and strikes a heroic pose while the dust is still settling, hands on his hips, expression more sternly determined than threatening.

"Megamind," he says, "you—"

"Now!" Megamind and Roxanne shout at the same moment, and Minion's big robotic hand slams down on the console button.

And the gun, the big showy one which seemed so clearly to be pointed at Roxanne, goes off, shooting backwards.

The gravity beam itself is invisible to the naked eye, so Roxanne can't actually see it. She sees the moment it hits Metro Man, though, because he gets a very surprised look on his face and then promptly falls over, collapsing in a way that reminds Roxanne of Saturday morning cartoons, Wiley Coyote flattened abruptly by a falling anvil.

"Urgle," Metro Man says, and—

_—completely fails to move at all._

* * *

Metro Man doesn't get up.

He makes a strangled noise and Megamind can see his muscles straining, but—

He  _doesn't get up._

(a trick it has to be a trick of some kind; there's no possible way—)

Metro Man's eyes bulge, his features contorting into an expression of shock—an expression so ridiculous that it has to be genuine, because there is no way Wayne would ever make his face look like that on purpose.

"Gnngh," Metro Man says, and Megamind hears himself make a choked kind of noise, a spasmodic, half-smothered  _laugh_  that edges much closer to overwrought hysteria than evil exaltation.

(villainous plot after villainous plot, but he never expected any of them to really work, never expected them to  _succeed_ —)

Megamind looks up from Metro Man, still lying on the floor, to Roxanne, sitting in her kidnapping chair. Her lips are slightly parted, and her eyes, when they raise from the fallen Metro Man to meet Megamind's gaze, are very wide.

"Oh look," Minion says, tone mild, clearly the only one here who actually expected this to really work. "We did it."

"We…did it," Roxanne says.

"...we did it?" Megamind repeats, clutching the edges of his cape in what feels like a vain attempt to hold reality itself together.

"We did it!" Roxanne crows, leaping up from her chair. She gives her wrists and ankles an impatient wriggle and the ropes fall away. "Ha! I was right! Didn't I tell you, Megamind? Didn't I tell you his powers work off of antigravity?"

"Brilliant," Megamind says, unable to keep himself from moving towards her, unable to keep himself from holding out his arms to her, all of his rationality drowned in the radiance of her, "Brilliant; you're  _brilliant_ , Roxanne!"

She laughs, loud and jubilant and somehow wild, her eyes shining, and runs to meet him, feet barely seeming to touch the ground, triumph carrying her like Winged Victory into his arms.

Megamind catches her and sweeps her the rest of the way off her feet, whirling her around in a circle while they both laugh, until, dizzy and off-balance with spinning and with how glorious she is, he has to stop.

"—worked, did you see—"

"—absolutely genius—"

"Tell me, Megamind," Roxanne demands, leaning against him, her arms around his neck, "tell me you couldn't have done it without me."

The room is still spinning around them, as if the two of them are in the eye of a hurricane or a cyclone, and Megamind's breath catches—catches at the command in her voice and at the nearness of her.

"Never," Megamind says, breathless with awe. "I could never have done it without you, Roxanne; I tried for years, and you! The very first time—"

"—help," Metro Man says, voice very flattened.

"Oh, shut up, Wayne," Roxanne says, not even turning her head to look at Metro Man, her eyes still fixed on Megamind's own, and Megamind's heart absolutely thrills.

"—dying—" Metro Man says.

"No, you're not; you're fine," Roxanne says, rolling her eyes and still not looking over at him, still not looking away from Megamind. "It's _literally just gravity_ , Wayne; normal people feel like this all the time."

Metro Man makes a pained, disbelieving kind of noise and Roxanne makes a sound of deep annoyance and turns her head at last to look at the fallen hero.

(her arms still around Megamind's neck, his arms around her waist, her body pressed against his, and Megamind thinks that perhaps the room is never going to stop spinning, that he's never going to be able to catch his balance again.)

She shifts her balance, leaning even more fully into him, and Megamind stops breathing.

"Roxy—why?" Metro Man gasps out. "Betrayed—"

Roxanne's eyes narrow and her arms slip from around Megamind's neck as she turns to Metro Man. She regards him for a long moment, long enough for Metro Man to falter into silence.

Then, slowly, deliberately, she stalks over to Metro Man, her spine straight and her shoulders set.

( _a cape_ , Megamind thinks disjointedly,  _she needs a cape; it should trail out behind her, red like fresh blood or black like shadows or dark blue like deceptively deep water_ )

She stops directly in front of Wayne and looks down her nose and him, then smiles like slow-working poison.

"Wayne," she says sweetly, "when's my birthday?"

Wayne gives her a look of deep bafflement.

"And how many times," Roxanne continues, still in that same tone of honeyed venom, "how many times have I asked you to stop calling me  _Roxy_?"

Wayne's mouth opens and closes a few times.

"That's—that's it?" he manages at last, "That's—what kind of a reason is that!?"

He sounds not just utterly flabbergasted, but actually  _offended_ , and Roxanne's eyes and mouth harden, her chin going up, and  _evil gods_ , but Megamind wishes she were wearing her  _crown_.

"You," she says, lip curling with contempt, "are confusing the symptoms with the disease, Wayne."

He blinks at her blankly.

"…disease?" he says. "What disease?"

Roxanne makes a noise of extreme annoyance.

"The disease is a metaphor, Wayne!" she says.

"Oh. Uh. For what?" he asks.

"For your personality!"

"Wh—I have a great personality!"

"No!" Roxanne says. "No, you don't! You are, in fact, a  _giant dick!_  People just tell you that you have a great personality because you're rich and superpowered and they think you're attractive!"

"That! That is not true!"

Metro Man looks beseechingly at Megamind, as if expecting some kind of support from him.

"That's not true…right?" he says.

"Uhhh," Megamind says, trying to think of a tactful way to exit this conversation.

"Oh!" Minion says, with a note of barely-detectable malice in his cheerful, helpful tone. "Like you were saying yesterday—it's lucky that he's all muscle and beef, elsewise no one would want to date him at all!"

"Minion!" Megamind hisses, and Minion gives him a look of limpid innocence from his suit's aquatic headpiece.

"Sir?"

"I have a great personality," Metro Man says sullenly.

Roxanne gives a comprehensive snort of disbelief and Metro Man glares at her.

"Oh, right," he says, "like you're any better! I'd rather be muscle and beef than—than— _needles_  and  _complaining_!"

"Minion," Roxanne says, casual, conversational, strolling around Metro Man.

"Yes, Ma'am?" Minion asks, and pretends not to see the way Megamind's head whips around to stare at him, and then at Roxanne in turn.

( _ma'am?_ since when does Minion call Roxanne—)

"You remember that higher setting I said we should put on the gravity beam?"

"—there's a higher setting?" Megamind asks. "Since when is there a higher setting?"

"Yes, Ma'am," Minion says, ignoring Megamind's question and radiating as much pure innocence as it is possible for a fish to radiate.

"Use it," Roxanne says.

"You got it, Ma'am!"

"WHAT?!" Metro Man shouts, and then makes an undignified shriek of pain as Minion twists the dial.

Roxanne signals to Minion to lower the setting again—signals to him with  _Megamind's own private strictly-for-use-with-the-henchfish setting-lowering signal_ , which she is  _not supposed to know about!_  And which Minion is d _efinitely not supposed to accept from people other than Megamind_ , and this was  _not part of the plan, never part of the plan_ , and—

"—no—" Metro Man chokes out.

Roxanne—Roxanne laughs, not a performatively evil laugh, but a real, wickedly-amused one, and Megamind gulps and has to stumble back to grab for the edge of the console when his knees threaten to buckle.

"Rox—anne," Metro Man says. "—not too late—turn back—side of good—help—"

" _Help?_ " Roxanne says, voice rich with amusement. "What happened to  _I'm invulnerable?_  What happened to  _you're never going to beat me?_ "

Metro Man makes a garbled noise and Roxanne laughs again.

Around Megamind, the shoal of brainbots are silent, hovering in the air, each of their eyepieces and attention fixed on Roxanne, each one of them as absolutely riveted by her as Megamind himself.

"You've lost, Metro Man," Roxanne says, voice soft.

She glances over at Megamind then, and smiles at him, slow and—and what he can't help but think of as  _seductive_  and Megamind's grip on the edge of the console is definitely the only thing keeping him on his feet right now.

"Say it," she purrs, still looking at Megamind. "Say that you've lost."

"—Roxy—"

"Minion," Roxanne says. "The next setting again."

"—no!" Wayne shouts, and then shrieks in as Minion twists the dial.

After a moment, Roxanne signals to Minion to turn the setting back down.

"Say. It."

"I've—I've—lost," Metro Man gasps out.

"And you're  _done_ ," Roxanne says, beginning to circle him again, like a cat playing with a cornered mouse, " _aren't you, Metro Man_. This city— _Metrocity_...is  _ours_."

She glances over at Megamind and he can't remember how to breathe, can't remember how to stand up properly, can barely manage to stop himself from falling to his knees.

When she smirks at him, Megamind promptly loses the battle with the last of his dignity and slides down the console and onto the floor.

Roxanne blinks at him, surprise and confusion and a little concern in her expression, and she takes half a step towards him before she checks herself. Out of the corner of his eye, Megamind sees Metro Man's gaze moving back and forth between him and Roxanne, terrified and confused.

"I—yeah," Metro Man says. "It's, uh. It's—yours."

Roxanne's head snaps back around and she pins him in place with a glare.

"Say that you'll never interfere with us again," she demands.

"I—I—yeah, sure, what—whatever you say—"

"Swear it!"

Her voice rings out, loud and snapping, and Megamind understands with a jolt that she was still toying with Metro Man earlier, because this, now, this is Roxanne being serious.

( _Metrocity is_ ** _ours_**  and  _never interfere with_ ** _us_** _again_ , and she doesn't realize, does she; she doesn't realize she's talking like—like—)

"I swear!" Metro Man says, sweat standing out on his brick-red face in beads, "I swear! Jeez—"

Roxanne bares her teeth, hands clenching into fists.

"I don't think you're taking me seriously, Metro Man," she hisses, tone well beyond dangerous.

"I—"

"Hit him again, Minion."

"NO!"

Minion does, and Metro Man thrashes, screeching before Minion once again turns the setting back down at Roxanne's signalled command.

"Swear that you'll never try to harm us again!"

"I—swear!".

"That you'll never try to convince anyone else to do it either!"

"Yes! Yes!"

"That you'll never even attempt to work as any kind of hero ever again!"

"Yes! God—please—"

Roxanne holds up a hand as if she's about to signal to Minion to turn up the dial again, and Metro Man sobs.

For a long moment, she stands looking down at him, hand half-upraised, and then she slowly lowers her hand.

"Release him, Minion."

"...Are you sure, Ma'am?" Minion asks, tone almost disappointed.

Roxanne whirls back around—really, she  _needs_  a cape—and Metro Man's eyes widen again in terror.

There is an indrawn breath kind of pause, and then—

"Oh, once more for old time's sake, Minion!"

Metro Man screams as Minion twists the dial.

"—all right, all right!" Roxanne says after a few moments of screaming. "Really, though, Minion, you can let him go now."

Minion, sharp-toothed grin wide, presses the button and Metro Man sags in relief.

"—how—how could you?" he asks Roxanne, voice somewhere between tragedy and accusation. "You—you—what is so funny!?" he demands, as Roxanne and Minion and Megamind  _all_  exchange a look and then burst out laughing together.

"Oh, that was so much fun!" Megamind says, still sitting on the floor, giggling.

"I told you it would be!" Roxanne cackles.

"Fun!?" Wayne says, outraged. "Fun!? You—you tortured me! You—"

"Oh, don't be so melodramatic," Roxanne says, rolling her eyes. "I told you, it's just gravity, Wayne. Earth standard gravity! Normal people feel like that all the time!"

"People that are used to it!" Wayne protests. "Besides, the—the higher—the higher—the higher setting—stop laughing at me!"

"There—there isn't—any higher setting!" Megamind says, holding his sides.

"That—that was just—just a placebo dial!" Roxanne gasps out, tears in her eyes from laughing so much.

"Bu—wh—agah?" Metro Man splutters.

Megamind and Roxanne, who have at last managed to mostly stop laughing, look at him and then glance at each other again, which sets them both off again into peals of laughter.

Wayne looks between the two of them, and then draws himself up stiffly, offended dignity and muscle cramps.

"I," he announces to the room at large, "am going home."

"Good, good," Minion says, mostly managing to smother his own mirth as he expertly herds Metro Man out, the brainbots following in their wake. "That's, uh, that's good. Why don't I call you a cab."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> …to be continued.
> 
> Only one more birthday celebration update left to go! I hope you all enjoyed the new chapter.
> 
> When Megamind thinks of Roxanne as like 'Winged Victory', he's referencing Nike, the Greek goddess of victory / Victoria, the equivalent Roman goddess. Nike/Victoria were generally portrayed as having wings. Nike was generally associated with victory in athletic games, while Victoria was associated with victory over death and victory in war.
> 
> Thank you to my own Victoria, displacerghost, for betaing this, and for helping me so much with the style and tone for this. 3


	4. Chapter 4

“You were  _fantastic_.”

Roxanne, who has finally—mostly—stopped laughing at the memory of Metro Man’s face when she announced that the gravity beam dial had been a placebo, laughs again—less in mirth than in something between embarrassment and discomfort.

Megamind, still on the floor, smiles widely up at her.

She wishes he wouldn’t, wishes he would stand up; something about the way he’s—

(on his knees gazing up at her with shining eyes)

—the way he’s looking at her, something about it is making her feel—making her feel—

He stands up, a fluid, graceful movement, and Roxanne swallows hard.

“Really,” he says, “fantastic.”

“Oh,” Roxanne says, rather more weakly than she intended.

Megamind’s smile—changes, sliding from a bright grin of joy to something more akin to a smirk. He leans back against the console and folds his arms, then looks her up and down—slowly, audaciously, before meeting her eyes again. Roxanne feels her face flush, sees Megamind seeing it, reads it in the way his eyes flash and go half-lidded, the way he catches his lower lip in his teeth before smiling at her again, slow and sharp.

“What?” she says, voice too loud, and crosses her own arms over her chest.

“Oh,” he says, uncrossing his arms and sauntering towards her, still smiling that infuriating, nerve-wracking smile. “I was just thinking how impressive you’re going to look in your Evil Queen cape.”

Roxanne takes a quick breath, almost a gasp, lips parting in an instinctive impulse to protest. Megamind arches an eyebrow at her, though, and all of her arguments flee her mind. She feels herself flush even more deeply.

And Megamind—Megamind just continues to walk slowly towards her, smirking at her, watching her blush, and when Roxanne glares at him, he laughs, soft and wicked, not looking away from her.

“Oh, Miss Ritchi,” he says, “didn’t I tell you that you’d enjoy yourself?”

He reaches at her, but he doesn’t stop; instead he continues, moving around her, circling her. Roxanne turns, following the movement, keeping him in sight and he smiles wider at her, predatory and pleased and—

“Whether I—enjoyed myself or not is—entirely beside the point—” Roxanne says.

Megamind raises his eyebrows at her.

“You enjoying yourself  _was_  the entire point,” he says, voice rich with amusement. “Don’t you remember, Miss Ritchi?” He continues to circle her, moving closer. “I told you right up front what my intentions were. You have only yourself to blame for—giving into temptation. I told you a taste would never be enough.”

He has his lower lip caught between his teeth again, and Roxanne takes a step back from him. His smile widens, darkens and Roxanne takes another step back.

“And why—why would I need to keep going now?” she says, trying for a tone of confident disdain. She stumbles back against the console and catches herself. “I already won, remember?” she says, “I only needed to try once to defeat Metro Man.”

She’s hoping the implied critique of his own career in villainy will distract him, make him step back or argue with her, anything to make him stop smiling like that, looking at her like that, being so—so—

Megamind laughs.

“Yes,” he says, “you were  _vicious_ ; it was  _glorious_. I am so pleased we have that on tape because I am going to treasure that memory  _forever_.”

He smiles at her like she didn’t just try to insult him, and saunters over to her as if she didn’t just basically  _flee_  from him and this is  _entirely_   _unfair_  and—

“But,” he says, “you and I know perfectly well that dealing with Metro Man was only a tiny portion of what I do in this city as Overlord.”

Roxanne’s lips part, but—but she can’t think of anything to say.

“I never did get to show you those books, did I?” he murmurs.

Roxanne barely stops herself from gulping.

(this, she can do this; remember how it was in the kitchen, Roxanne, remember—)

She uncrosses her arms, puts her hands on her hips instead, shifts her weight deliberately, leaning into one hip. Megamind’s eyes flick down when she does, following the movement—not a deliberate once-over this time, a quick, involuntary glance, and when his eyes meet hers again, she’s ready for him.

“Which books?” she asks, voice sweet and arch. “The ledgers? Or the ones in your bedroom?”  


His eyes widen just slightly, a touch of pink appearing at the tips of his ears, along the lines of his cheekbones.

_(ha, gotcha)_

Roxanne licks her lips and his eyes follow that movement as well, and when she sees him swallow visibly, she feels like she can breathe for the first time since Minion and Metro Man and the brainbots left the two of them alone in this room together and—

Megamind meets her eyes and—

—and blinks.

And then he tips his head, a slight frown appearing between his eyebrows, his eyes on her face, watching her, watching her expression and—

(oh.)

(oh  _no_.)

Roxanne sees, actually  _sees_  the moment that Megamind realizes what she’s doing, reads it in the sudden gleeful flash of his eyes, lips curving upwards slightly as he takes a breath which is almost a laugh.

He licks his own lips and Roxanne—

_(damn it damn it damn it)_

—Roxanne’s brain isn’t quite swift enough to stop her eyes from dropping to his mouth, and when she looks up into his eyes again she can tell by his expression that he absolutely noticed, and she can’t decide if it’s her knees or her heart that want to give out and—

“Both.”

“I—wh—what?” Roxanne stammers.

“Both,” Megamind says, his gaze holding hers. “Both sets of books. If you want.”

There is a pause, an indrawn breath kind of a pause, except that Roxanne isn’t really breathing right now. Megamind watches her face, holding very still for several long moments, and then, slowly, deliberately, he steps forward, still looking into her eyes, giving her more than enough time to move away again.

She doesn’t.

The hem of his cape sways as he stops just in front of her, silky fabric brushing against the tips of her shoes. He doesn’t touch her, but he does lean forward, placing the fingertips of one hand down on the console next to hers.

(Roxanne has forgotten what they were talking about, has forgotten how to  _breathe_ , how to look away from him.)

“You,” he says, voice low, eyes on hers, “are going to be magnificent as my Evil Queen.”

“—who—who says I’m going to be your—your Evil Queen?” Roxanne manages to say, breathless, still unable to look away from him.

He smiles at her.

“You did.”

Roxanne’s fingers tighten on the edge of the console—balance, grounding, reality, the ability to hold herself upright—

“This—this was always going to be a—a one-time thing, Megamind. I’m—”

_“Metrocity is ours.”_

Roxanne stops midsentence.

“That’s what you said, Miss Ritchi,” Megamind says, looking into her eyes, hand still on the console next to hers.  _“Metrocity is ours.”_

Roxanne’s lips part; she tries to speak and finds she cannot. Megamind smiles at her again, reaches up with his other hand as if to stroke her hair or cup her cheek, bends his head forward as if—as if—as if he’s going to kiss her and—

He doesn’t, though; he doesn’t kiss her, doesn’t touch her, stops with his fingertips just shy of her skin and his lips just shy of hers, so close she can feel it, the ghost of a touch.

“You’re not going to make me rule our city by myself now, are you?” he murmurs, his lips so close to hers that the words brush against them like a phantom kiss, and Roxanne takes a sharp breath, head tilting without conscious thought, as if to catch the shadow of the kiss he hasn’t given her.

“—oh—” she gasps, reaching out and to grab at his cape, fingers twisting in cool silk, and Megamind makes a sound low in his throat, an inhuman kind of growl.

“Tell me,” he commands, voice rough, “tell me I was  _right_ , Roxanne.”

“—yes,” she says, “yes, yes; god; you were right, Megamind, please—”

His lips capture hers, stealing the rest of her plea.

 

* * *

 

MESSAGE

BRAINBOT 001 to DESIGNATION : MEGAMIND [ STATUS : DADDY ]

_/upgrade :  **gravity beam**

A_upgrade to brainbot swarm

/complete

B_upgrade to MINION SUITS [ ALL ]

/complete

MESSAGE

BRAINBOT 001 to DESIGNATION : ROXANNE RITCHI [ STATUS : MOMMY ]

_/surveillance report : metro man

A_invisibility upgrade to brainbot swarm

/complete

B_surveillance

/ongoing

C_routine : regular dose of gravity beam

/ongoing

report: successful

[ designation : metro man continues to be under impression that effects of

gravity are lasting ]

[ designation: metro man displays no sign of intending to resume hero

activities ]

[ designation : metro man currently preoccupied with learning guitar ]

{ audio file attached } [ listen to at own risk ]

ENCRYPTED MESSAGE

BRAINBOT 001 to DESIGNATION : MINION [ STATUS : UNCLE ]

** _operation : angler fish **

/complete

/success

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the end.
> 
>    
> This is the last of my birthday celebration fic updates! (I hope you all enjoyed the celebration this year, illness and delays and all) 
> 
> And I very much hope that you all enjoyed the end of the story!
> 
> Thank you again to displacerghost, for the beginning of this fic, for betaing it…and for being mine <3


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